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Wednesday, 03 June 2009

  • Nostalgia. . .

    Most people hate the rain. I find it comforting. Drinking coffee while listening to old songs and rain drops. That's definitely something worth spending your time with.. especially when all you want is a moment of peace and solitude.

    I looked out my window and flashbacks began to take place inside my head before i could even help it. I closed my eyes.  Everything is in black and white, though i can see how cheerful i was, how everything seems to be colorful, peaceful and full of life. Why should things change? I mean.. couldn't they just stay the way they are? I have never realized how my life has turned out to be completely different from what i've seen my future to be when i was a little kid. My brother used to be soo violent. He couldn't leave home without giving me a slap or two (and sometimes a slap wasn't enough.;c). I thought it was all because of jealousy. He never wanted a baby sister. He always wanted to be in the center of everybody's attention. That was 11years ago. Now i thought maturity has helped him get over his jealousy. Unfortunately, things did not turn out the way he wanted it to be.. His wife left him. He's an alcoholic now. He admits he is alcoholic but he doesn't seem to make a move to isolate himself from his drinks.

    Every day he goes out then comes home drunk. Sometimes he's okay but most of the time.. he turns into someone i couldn't even recognize. To me he's a monster.Hestill thinks i overshine him. He still thinks our parents love ME more than him. He still thinks our parents doesn't care about him at all. He still thinks that everything would be better without our parents. He still thinks we're not capable of making good memories anymore. He still thinks he would be better off without his family.. particularly.. ME.

    I dread every night. Every glare. Every threat.

    I was awakened from my reverie when i noticed my tumbler was slipping off from my hands.. I check the clock.. 15minutes before 4o'clock.. A few more hours and it will be night time soon..

    I sooo can't wait. :(

Saturday, 30 May 2009

  • Revival. . .

    I've never thought keeping/maintaining blogsites (such as Xanga) would be quite a job. I mean, not that i'm having a hard time it's just that.. Sometimes i get all blank and eventually have nothing to blog about.. I know there are a lot of people who just blog about whatever pops out in their heads but what if nothing popped out? What if you are in a constant state of emptiness and your brain can't dig anything that is worth blogging about? (there are times like that, aren't tthere?)
     
     
    What IS worth blogging about?
    What should people blog about for them to have the positive feedback they've been wanting from fellow bloggers?
    What do people want to read in blogs?
    Why do people even read blogs?
     
     
    That's a lot if questions.. and i am quite sure it would take me quite some time to figure out the answer to all of it.. blaaahhh.. who cares? i'm havin' fun typin' out silliness and insipidities.. and people sure are willingly killing their time reading it so what should i complain about? :)


Friday, 29 May 2009

  • XANGA!

    Gahd! it's been quite awhile indeed.
     
    I've been pretty sick lately and i haven't blog for ages!
     
    How's the xanga world doing?
     
    Hopefully, i can blog more often.

    HOPEFULLY!

    *breathes deeply*

    XANGA AIR indeed. :)

Wednesday, 03 September 2008

  • Never okay. . .

    I wanted him to care but he never seemed to show it that much.
    - It's Okay.

    I want him to be more expressive than he already is.. but i guess that was too much to ask.
    - It's Okay.

    Now he's at work.
    - It's Okay.

    His job is quite okay though his salary is much lesser than his daily allowance.. [courtesy of his Mom] Heck! it's for his working experience.
    - It's Okay.

    So his work starts at 8:30am and ends at 5:30pm. He goes home like 6pm or so. Overtime i guess.
    - It's Okay.

    He never told me he didn't go to work and instead went out with his friends to a place where I have always wanted to visit. I have wished to visit it. I have asked him to make arrangements so that we could go there. But he never did, he went anyways.. Acted as though i wasn't hurt.
    - It's Okay.

    I've always wanted to play AIRSOFT. but i never had the equipments needed. His Dad has them but never had the chance to actually try them out. He [my guy] wasn't really interested.. not until his bandmates told him how cool it was... Later on, he join the Airsoft group.
    - It's Okay.

    I was given the chance to go to the place that i have been wanting to visit. He told me they're going to play airsoft there because it's an ideal battle ground. I don't want to sit in the corner and watch silently angry. so I ventured the forest. ALONE. I almost spend the whole day alone... wandering... thinking...
    - It's Okay.

    I got into a vehicular accident today.. I got sprained, hurt, and bruised... I can't walk. I have this big bulge in my head. I'm experiencing sharp stabbing pains on my head every now and then... I can't focus things properly.. So basically something is majorly wrong.. He was at work. He went home [their home]. Watched TV. Ate dinner. Watched TV again.. then went to sleep. I asked him to come and y'know.. check me out. I know i shouldn't have done that but i was desperate for a companion. He didn't reply at all... He went to sleep.. He must be tired.
    - It's Okay.

    Tomorrow.. Imma go to school. It's my last dose of vaccine. I have a fever... a serious migraine and a broken ankle. My bruises hurts like hell. My ankle will definitely be swelling. Probably couldn't walk but i'll still go to school. Nothing's wrong right?
    - It's Okay. :(

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

  • What is your favorite movie quote?

    This one is from Coach Carter... I honestly memorized this by heart. Always remind me to keep my feet on the ground.. Always.. :)

    "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."-Timo Cruz


    It's been awhile Xanga. :)

Pulse

Chatboard (12)

  • youmaysee
    Thanks so much for the comment!
  • LegendaryD
    Thanks for the comment. Just passing by as well. Haha.
  • Shedaine
    invite me on YM: rigidandincompleteme No bugs pls.lol. yeah. i'm happy. ;c
  • XpiNaYSwEeTAnGeLz
    hey nice xanga! just came by to say hi. :)
  • AshesZ94
    Random props?
  • aammyyyy
    i dont know how to comment on your xanga either! Im fairly new to this though too. and yes, all whiney children should be lockedi n a dungeon. forever. although, i was the youngest. so.... maybe i take that back..
  • Shedaine
    weee... Good day to all!! feel free to leave a message...lol
    • Posted 11/28/2007 11:04 PM
    • by Shedaine
  • Trailer_Park_Wrestling
    All the guys at TPW say H3llo!
  • lilyqueen777
    Ola =]
  • Shedaine
    My Questions for the day: What are your reactions for same-sex marriage? What do you think of 'Political dynasties'? Do you mind being ruled by the same clan over and over again?